SAFARI IN SERENGETI AND NGORONGORO

I MET MY GROUP AT A HOTEL IN NAIROBI AND WE WERE GIVEN THE INTRO BY OUR GUIDE, PATRICK. AFTER, WE WENT TO A BRAZILIAN CHURRASCARIA TYPE PLACE BUT INSTEAD OF JUST BEEF AND STUFF THEY HAD OSTRICH AND CROCODILE. 2 NEW ANIMALS I HAVE NEVER TRIED BEFORE. THE CROC WAS ALRIGHT BUT THE OSTRICH WAS DELICIOUS. THE NEXT DAY WE SET OFF ON OUR SAFARI. IT WAS ME AND 6 OTHER PEOPLE FROM IRELAND, FRANCE, AND GERMANY, PLUS A GUIDE, A COOK, AND A DRIVER. WE TRAVELED 8 HOURS THROUGH THE GREAT RIFT VALLEY AND TO OUR FIRST DESTINATION OF KISII. ALONG THE WAY WE STOPPED IN SMALL MASAAI TOWNS AND INTERACTED WITH THE LOCALS. I BOUGHT SOME FRUIT OFCOURSE BECAUSE THE GREAT RIFT VALLEY IS WHERE THE BEST SOIL IS. WE GOT TO KISII AND PICKED UP SOME BEER, FOOD, AND A SOCCER BALL. WE SPENT THE NIGHT IN KISII AND GOT SOME REST. THE NEXT MORNING WE HEADED TO LAKE VICTORIA. I GOT REALLY SICK THE WHOLE DAY AND ENDED UP JUST NAPPING IN MY TENT WHILE EVERYONE GOT TO DO THE ACTIVITIES. LUCKILY I WOKE UP THE NEXT MORNING FEELING GREAT. THE SERENGETI WAS OUR NEXT STOP FOR TWO NIGHTS OF CAMPING IN THE WILD WITH NO FENCE AND NO RANGER WITH A GUN TO STOP WILD ANIMALS. WE SET UP OUR TENTS AND LIT THE FIRE. ME AND JAMES, A DRUNK IRISH GUY, SAT UP AFTER THE REST OF THE GROUP WENT TO SLEEP. WE LISTENED TO THE LIONS AND THE HYENAS AND THE WILDEBEATS MAKE THEIR NOISES IN THE BUSHES ABOUT 10 METERS AWAY FROM US. WE SAW THE SHADOWS IN THE BUSHES BUT KEPT DRINKING BY THE FIRE ANWYAYS. EVENTUALLY WE WENT TO BED AND AT ABOUT 3AM, A GROUP OF LIONS WALKED RIGHT PAST OUR TENTS AND IN TO THE BUSHES ABOUT 5FT BEHIND US. IN THE MORNING THEY HAD JUST LEFT AND YOU CAN SEE THE IMPRINT THEY HAD MADE ON THE SMUSHED DEAD GRASS. WE WENT ON 2 GAME DRIVES THE NEXT DAY AND SAW HYENA, HIPPO, CROCODILE, WARTHOG, WILDBEAST, VULTURES, LIONS, LEOPARD, GIRAFFE, ZEBRA, ELEPHANT, BUFFALO, TOPI, GAZELLE, AND MANY OTHER ANIMALS. WE SAW ONE OF THE MOST AMAZING SUN SETS AND HEADED BACK TO OUR CAMPSITE. THAT NIGHT WHILE AT THE FIRE WITH THE WHOLE GROUP, 5 LIONS CAN PANTING AND ROARING TOWARDS OUR CAMPSITE. THEY CAME WITHIN ABOUT 20-25 FEET OF US AND WE ALL RAN INTO THE TRUCK. IT WAS INSANE. THEY HUNG AROUND LEFT AND THEN CAME BACK AGAIN. EVENTUALLY EVERYONE WENT INTO THEIR TENTS AND THE LIONS PASSED ON. OUR CAMP JUST HAPPENED TO BE PERFECTLY SITUATED BETWEEN THE LIONS AND A FIELD FULL OF WILDEBEASTS. WE LEFT SERENGETI IN THE MORNING AND ON THE WAY OUT WE LUCKILY CAUGHT A PRIDE OF LIONS FEASTING ON A ZEBRA. IT WAS INCREDIBLE. WE WERE WITHING 15 FEET OF IT. FROM THERE WE WENT TO NGORONGORO CRATER WHICH IS ONE OF THE LARGEST FULL CRATERS IN THE WORLD. OUR CAMPSITE WAS ON THE RIM OVER LOOKING THE CRATER AND WHEN WE GOT THERE, THERE WERE ZEBRA, BUFFALO, AND BUSHPIGS CHILLIN IN OUR CAMPSITE. WE PITCHED OUR TENTS AND ENJOYED THE WILD. EARLY IN THE MORNIGN WE TOLD A SMALLER JEEP INTO THE CRATER FOR A GAME DRIVE. WE CAUGHT WILDEBEASTS FIGHING FOR FEMALES, A LION CHASING A WART HOG, AND A HYENA WALKING ALONG SIDE OUR JEEP. WE LEFT NGORONGORO AT 2ISH AND VISITED THE MASAAI MARKET WHERE WE TRIED RED BANANAS WHICH I FOUND TOO BANANA-Y. VERY POTENT. WE ENDED THE TRIP AT THE SNAKE PARK IN MESERANI BY ARUSHA WHERE I STARTED 12 DAYS AGO. THIS IS JUST A SUMMARY OF MY EXPERIENCE, I WILL ELABORATE SOON BUT IM TIRED AND WORN OUT AND NEED SOME RELAXATION AFTER A TAXING SAFARI. OFF TO ZANZIBAR NOW, THEN VICTORIA FALLS. THEN THE WORLD CUP!!!

Nairobi - Kenya

I ATE SOME FRUIT FOR BREAKFAST AND FOUND A CABBIE THAT WOULD DRIVE ME INTO THE SLUMS OR KIBERA IN NAIROBI. FIRST I WENT TO VILLAGE MARKET WHICH MADE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS IN A WEALTHY COUNTRY AND DEFINATELY NOT A THIRD WORLD ONE. THIS IS WHERE ALL THE EXPATS, INDIANS, AND RICH PEOPLE FREQUENTED. JUICE STANDS, STEAKHOUSES, AND MASSAGE PARLOURS IN A SHOPPING COMPLEX COMPLETE WITH A CINEMA. AFTER FOUND AN AUTHENTIC AFRICAN RESTAURANT ATE SOME UGALI, A KENYAN STARCHY DISH SORT OF LIKE A MIX BETWEEN A LUMB OF RICE AND A PANCAKE. YOU DIP IT IN THE CHICKEN OR BEEF STEW AND ITS PRETTY FILLING. FROM THERE WE WENT TO THE SNAKE FARM AND I GOT TO SEE A CROC AND A ROCK PYTHON. THE ROCK PYTHON IS KIND OF LIKE AN ANACONDA. I HOPE I CAN SEE ONE IN THE WILD, BUT NOT TOO CLOSE. FINALLY WE HEADED TO KIBERA, ONE OF THE WORST AND LARGEST SLUMS IN THE WORLD AND THE LARGEST IN AFRICA. CRIME AND AIDS ARE A HUGE PROBLEM AND THERES OVER A MILLION PEOPLE LIVING IN AN AREA THATS 1.5 SQ MILES BIG. NOT MANY DRIVERS WILL TAKE A MZUMBA AKA WHITE PERSON IN THERE AT ALL. I FOUND ONE AND HE THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY, BUT I HAD TO SEE IT FOR MYSELF. THE ROADS WERE NARROW AND TIGHT SO ANYONE WHO WANTED TO ROB OR STOP US COULDVE EASILY DONE SO. IT WAS PRETTY CRAZY HOW THEY LIVED AND I WAS THE ONLY WHITE PERSON FOR IN THE WHOLE SLUM FOR SURE. I HAD TO BE CAREFUL TAKING PICTURES BUT I GOT A FEW GOOD SHOTS AND MADE IT OUT ALIVE. MY CABBIE SEEMED HAPPY ABOUT THAT TOO. IN ONE DAY I GOT TO SEE THE NICE LIFE AND THE TERRIBLE LIFE IN NAIROBI. IT WAS REALLY INTERESTING AND AN OFF THE BEATEN PATH WAY TO EXPERIENCE NAIROBI. SUCK IT KAREN BILIXEN MUSEUM. IN A LITTLE BIT I WILL BE MEETING MY SAFARI GROUP TO DISCUSS THE TRIP THAT WE ARE STARTING TOMORROW.

KILIMANJARO REGION - TANZANIA

WENT BACK TO NY FOR A COUPLE DAYS TO PRETTY MUCH EAT AND DRINK. WHATS NEW. SAW THE NEPHEWS IN PENN AND GOT ON A FLIGHT TO DUBAI. 12 AND HALF HOURS LATER I WAS READY TO WAIT FOR MY NEXT FLIGHT. AND FOR THE RECORD EMIRATES AIR IS THE SICKEST AIRLINE OUT. 600 MOVIES AND 350 TV SHOWS WITH 3 EPISODES EACH. WASN'T A BAD FLIGHT AT ALL. NEXT FLIGHT WAS TO NAIROBI ON EMIRATES BUT A SMALLER PLANE, NOT AS COOL. PASSED OUT AND WOKE UP IN NAIROBI. THE WOMEN'S KENYAN BASKETBALL TEAM WAS ON MY FLIGHT AND THEY HAD JUST WON SOMETHING SO THERE WAS A HUGE CROWD AND ARMY PEOPLE WITH MEDALS WAITING FOR THEM WHEN THEY GOT OFF THE PLANE. I HAD A SEAT IN THE FRONT OF THE PLANE SO WHEN I WALKED OFF THEY SNAPPED MY PICTURE. I'M FAMOUS IN KENYA. HAD 3 HOURS TO KILL SO I WENT TO THE AIRPORT LOUNGE WITH WAS A ROOM WITH LIKE 30+ LEATHER COUCHES. DRINK SOME GIN AND PASSED OUT. WOKE UP IN TIME FOR MY PROP JET TO KILIMANJARO. ON THE FLIGHT, THE PLANE WAS SO SMALL I HAD TO SWITCH SEATS TO BALANCE IT OUT. GOT A GREAT VIEW OF THE SUN SETTING BEHIND MERU AND THE SUNNY SIDE OF KILI ABOVE THE CLOUDS. LANDED AND THE ADDRESS FOR MY HOSTEL WAS A PO BOX. THE CABBIE SAID HE KNEW WHERE IT WAS AND DROVE ME TO A LOCAL SLUMMISH AREA OUTSIDE OF MOSHI WHICH WAS CLEARLY THE WRONG PLACE. I TOLD HIM TO TAKE ME TO MOSHI INSTEAD. GOT TO MOSHI AND FOUND A BACKPACKERS HOSTEL.

THE NEXT DAY I FOUND A LOCAL, STEVE, THAT I TIPPED TO SHOW ME AROUND FOR THE DAY. WE TOOK THE STUFFED DALA DALA UP TO MARANGU, THE BASE CAMP FOR KILIMANJARO AND SAW THE WATERFALLS AND MARKETS FOR THE CHAGGA TRIBE NATIVES. I LEARNED SOME SWAHILI ALONG THE WAY AND ATE SOME HUGE FRESH FRUIT. THE BANANAS ARE LIKE 4 INCHES IN DIAMETER AND THE AVOCADOS ARE AS BIG AS YOUR HEAD. ITS A TOSS UP BETWEEN THE BEST AVOCADOS IN THE WORLD (TANZANIA VS GUATEMALA/BELIZE). WE WENT BACK TO MOSHI IN A DALA DALLA AGAIN WHICH BROKE DOWN MIDWAY. LUCKILY THEY COME BY LIKE EVERY 2 MINTUES. WE HOPPED ON ANOTHER WHICH QUICKLY BROKE DOWN AGAIN. THE THIRD ONE FINALLY TOOK US TO WHERE WE NEEDED TO GO. MOSHI, WHICH IS PRETTY GHETTO WAS A STARTING POINT FOR KILIMANJARO CLIMBERS YET WASN'T A VERY SAFE TOWN. ONCE WE GOT BACK I WAS TAKEN TO A LOCAL BAR THAT LOOKED LIKE A PIG PEN ON A FARM. THERE WE DRANK BANANA MOONSHINE AND BANANA BEER. THIS SHIT LOOKED ROTTEN BUT I HAD TO TRY IT. IT LOOKED LIKE THROW UP AFTER SOMEONE ATE TRISCUITS. ANYWAY, AFTER I DRANK SOME, I SAW A BIG BLACK THING FLOATING IN IT. I ASKED STEVE WHAT IT WAS AND HE SAID IT WAS BURNT WOOD TO KILL BACTERIA. OH GREAT. THEN HE ORDERS A CAPRI SUN LOOKING PACKET OF GIN AND POURS IT IN THE MOONSHINE. I ASKED WHY HE DID THIS AND HE SAID TO KILL THE BACTERIA. WTF. LUCKILY I DID NOT GET SICK. WE PAID THE CASHIER, WHO I THANKED AND CALLED HIM A FEMALE (ASANTE DADA) BECAUSE HE LOOKED LIKE ONE AND THEN FOUND A PLACE TO EAT. WHILE EATING I WAS APPROACHED BY A MAN SELLING KNIVES. I HAGGLED THE MAN A GOT MYSELF A SWEET KNIFE FOR CUTTING FRUIT AND AFRICANS THAT TRY TO FUCK WITH ME. JK, JUST FRUIT. AT MY HOSTEL I GAVE MYSELF A FRESH NEW HAIRCUT WITH MY BUZZER AND ITS LOOKS PRETTY LEGIT. 6 ON TOP 2 ON THE SIDES THEN BLENDED. BALLER.

THE FOLLOWING MORNING I HITCHED A RIDE TO ARUSHA WITH STEVE ABOUT AN HOUR AWAY. I DROPPED MY STUFF AT ANOTHER BACKPACKERS HOSTEL AND WENT OUT TO THE ARUSHA NATIONAL PARK. ON THE WAY WE STOPPED AND GOT SOME FRUIT THAT I USED MY BRAND NEW KNIFE TO CUT AND SOME SAMOSAS. THERE IS A LOT OF INDIAN INFLUENCE IS THIS REGION WHICH MAKES ME HAPPY BECAUSE I LOVE INDIA. WE GET TO THE PARK AND ITS KIND OF LIKE THE MOVIE JURASSIC PARK. IMMEDIATELY WE SEE BUFFALO, ZEBRAS, WARTHOGS, BABOONS, GIRAFFE, MONKEYS, AND RANDOM OTHER ANIMALS. IT WAS A NICE PREGAME TO THE SAFARI. ON THE WAY OUT WE SAW 2 HYENAS TOO. I WENT BACK TO MY HOSTEL AND DRANK SOME LOCAL BEER WITH SOME FOREIGNERS AND WATCH THE SUN GO DOWN OVER MERU ALONG WITH A YOUNG AFRICAN TEAM SOCCER PRACTICE.

I LEFT ARUSHA THE FOLLOWING DAY FOR NAIROBI, KENYA. I TOOK A LOCAL BUS WHICH WAS CHEAP AND INTERESTING. THE ROADS WERE ALL DIRT AND THE RIDE WAS ERRATIC. WE GOT TO THE BORDER AND IT BROKE DOWN. AFTER AND HOUR AND A HALF THEY FIXED IT AND WE MADE IT TO NAIROBI IN ABOUT 7 HOURS. ALL ALONG IVE HEARD THAT THE PEOPLE IN NAIROBI ARE NOT AS NICE AS IN TANZANIA AND IT IS NOT A SAFE PLACE. THEY EVEN NICKNAMED IT NAI-ROBBERY. ONCE WE GOT IN, I HAD ONE OF THE GUYS ON MY BUS HELP ME GET A REAL CAB AND NEGOTIATE THE PRICE AND I GOT TO MY HOTEL SAFELY. I PUT MY STUFF DOWN AND GOT TO THE BAR JUST IN TIME FOR THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE FINAL. FUCK BOTH THOSE TEAMS. I HOPE MORINHO GOES TO REAL MADRID SO IT HURTS MORE WHEN WE STOMP THEM. GO FC BARCA. THE MAGIC WERE A HUGE LET DOWN.
I GOT THE DAY IN NAIROBI SO ILL PROB GO TO THE MARKETS AND SEE SOME OF THE CITY. TOM I LEAVE ON MY 7 DAY CAMPING SAFARI. MAYBE I WILL BE BALE TO PUT UP PICS AFTER.

SO FAR EASTERN AFRICA HAS BEEN SICK. BANANA MOONSHINE ON THE REG, WILD ANIMALS ON THE REG, CRAZY BUS RIDES ON THE REG, BEERS WITH FOREIGNERS AND LOCALS ON THE REG, GREAT SCENERY ON THE REG. TOO MUCH WATCHING THE ONLY SEASON OF EASTBOUND AND DOWN ON REPEAT.

AFRICA ON THE REG

FIGURED ID MAKE A BLOG AGAIN FOR THIS TRIP SO I DON'T HAVE TO TELL PEOPLE THE SAME SHIT OVER AND OVER. YA DIG?